15 February 2006

Toilet Games

I used to play snake a lot when going to the loo. I know a statement like that invokes certain images, shame on you and your dirty imagination! What I’m talking about is the game called snake found on Nokia mobile phones. Sitting on the loo is pure downtime seen from an intellectual point of view and that’s why I always bring something to read when going. At work I don’t normally carry around books or magazines, I get my news from the Internet so I don’t buy newspapers either (although a newspaper can be a good emergency replacement for toilet paper in case you were not paying attention when you first walked in and sat down). What I always carry around is my mobile phone and this has turned out to be my saviour in my battle against toilet cubicle boredom.
Recently I was given a new company phone and to my great disappointment it turned out that Snake had fallen out of favour as application number one in mobile phone amusement. Instead the games; Street Race, Backgammon II and Golf Tour was installed as default. A quick glance at them made me disregard them as suitable for potty entertainment and with a sigh I resigned myself to a future where toilet graffiti would be the best exercise that would be provided for my brain cells while marinating in the unsavoury atmosphere of a public toilet.

During a session in a toilet cubicle, so new that no graffiti had yet materialised and the only reading material was the instructions on how to use the toilet paper dispenser, I pulled out the phone to give the games another try. To my big surprise I got hooked on the golf game (insert your own joke about fondling a stick and whacking balls here). In real life I have always considered golf boring at best and full of people dressing in silly clothes using expressions like; Par, Birdie and Bogey. Now I speak the green lingo of golf, I know when to use a driver or a wedge and I dream of doing a hole-in-one (which I always thought was a synonym for sex on the first date).

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