12 November 2006

Intermission

Since I'm in a lull at the moment on my blog, I'd thought that I might put it to good use.

So on the outside chance that you can answer YES to following points:
  • You live in or near Cincinnati.

  • You like Rick Springfield and would like to see him perform live.

  • You love bus rides.

  • You would like to help Sahara Aldridge overcome cancer.

  • You are not Michael Manning.
Then go to Michael Manning's website and sign up.

Update: Invitations to the bus ride have now been extended to include:

DETROIT, MICHIGAN

CLEVELAND, OHIO

COLUMBUS, OHIO

TOLEDO, OHIO

DAYTON, OHIO

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY

LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

19 September 2006

Adam Ant Book Signing

Last Friday my wife saw an add in the Metro newspaper, announcing that Adam Ant, this Saturday, would be signing his newly released autobiography in Waterstone’s bookstore on Piccadilly.

I have never been chasing autographs of celebrities, but when she showed me the add, it took my right back to my younger days and I found myself going; “Ooh ooh, we gotta go, we gotta go!”.
So on Saturday we queued up for three hours in front of the bookshop so that I could get my freshly acquired book autographed by the man himself; Adam Ant.

That's me with my hand in the back pocket and impatiently drumming on the desk, while Adam Ant scribbles away. I must admit to being a bit tongue tied and all I could mutter was: I'm really looking forward to reading your book.

I really should thank my very patient wife Anna for waiting in line with me, it was Open House London weekend and we had already been in one queue earlier that day to see the Lloyd's building. After this she zipped off to stand in queue for another building as I cowardly retired to the Virgin Megastore to browse the DVD's and buy the CD: Stand & Deliver The Very Best of Adam And The Ants, including a bonus DVD with some of the promo videos from back then.

Sunday Anna was off to see some more buildings while I stayed at home to read the book and watch the DVD.

14 September 2006

Dave's Penguin Joke

My colleague Dave told me a joke the other day. He thought it was so very funny that he could barely contain himself as he told it. The problem was that I didn't laugh. He then tried it on several other people over the next couple of days and so far only one person have found it worthy of a laugh, although he might have been laughing at Dave, who still can't contain his laughter when he tells the joke.
Dave then suggested that I put the joke on my blog to hear what other people thought of it.

Here goes:

A penguin goes into a bar and walk up to the bartender and says "I can't find my dad. Have you seen him?"

And the bartender says "I don't know, what does he look like?"


12 September 2006

Thickest Liquid Ever


Pitch is such a thick liquid that under normal circumstances you would never suspect its true nature. If you had a lump of it in front of you and took a hammer and gave it a good smack (infinitively satisfying and consistent with normal scientific procedure), it would shatter very much like glass.
In 1927 Professor Thomas Parnell, of University of Queensland, started an experiment. He melted a portion of pitch and poured it into a glass funnel with the tube sealed at the bottom. After cooling and left to settle for three years the tube was cut open in 1930 and the pitch have since been allowed to flow freely into a beaker placed underneath the funnel. In that time only eight drops have fallen and the ninth have only just begun to form.
Pitch can be made from plant material and is then called rosin and when it is made from petroleum it is called bitumen, which is one of the main ingredient of road paving.
Eight drops in 76 years? My private theory is that it is also the main ingredient in tomato ketchup.


Would you like to know more?
The Pitch Drop Experiment
Pitch
Bitumen
Rosin
Ketchup

04 September 2006

Hello Dave

Hello Dave.


Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dead

Oh No!

THE Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, is dead.

He was killed in a freak accident in Cairns, police sources said.

It is understood he was killed by a stingray barb that went through his chest.

News.com.au
ABC News
CNN

01 September 2006

Falkirk Wheel

In Falkirk in Scotland, the height difference between The Forth & Clyde Canal and The Union Canal is 24 meters. Rather than taking up a lot of land and inconveniencing canal traveling people with time consuming entries and exits through a series of traditional locks, that only lift you in increments of 5 or 6 meters at the time, a lifting wheel was constructed.


A boat enters at the bottom and another boat enters at the top.

And then the wheel is set in motion.




Soon after you are on your way again at the bottom/top of the wheel and the four minute trip will only have consumed about 1.5 kWh, approximately the energy it takes to boil eight kettles of water.

Would you like to know more?

Falkirk Wheel Official Website.
Falkirk Wheel on Wikipedia.



22 August 2006

Name That Machine


I have been very busy at work lately and have also been away on holiday for a couple of weeks, that's why there has been a serious lag of posts here.

On our holiday we came across the machine on the picture above. It's not at an amusement park, it's something with a practical purpose, but what?

16 July 2006

Betallica


Sometimes when just browsing at random, you come across funny little things. Beatallica is one of those.
The band fuses sound and songs from The Beatles and Metallica catalogs. So far they have made two albums: A Garage Dayz Nite (2001) and Beatallica (2004).

The Beatles have The White Album and Metallica have The Black Album, naturally the otherwise nameless album Beatallica is better known as The Grey Album.

For legal reasons all their music is available for for free on their website.
When they in 2005 was sent a cease-and-desist note from Sony, which own a great deal of the legal rights to the Beatles music, the drummer and co-founder of Metallicam, Lars Ulrich (a fellow Dane), took action.
He promised to help with legal negotiations and to get Metallica's attorney calm things with Sony.
Sony did not pursue the matter any further.


My personal favorite is: Hey Dude.


Want to know more?
Metallica
The Beatles
Beatallica

06 July 2006

Star Trek II, The Wrath of Takeru

He did it again! Takeru Kobayashi won the hot dog eating contest for the sixth time!
Read about it here.

The rest of this post is just a repeat of an earlier post (I'm a lazy git).

The other day driving home from work I got thinking about that small Japanese guy I saw on TV winning a hot dog eating contest. Some big fat guys had entered the contest too but they just couldn't beat this little guy.
The thought stayed with me long enough for me to look it up on the web when I got home. His name turned out to be Takeru Kobayashi and he won the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest five times in a row. His name and his all his winnings amused me to no end, those big fat guys trying to beat him had faced their no win situation, they had their Kobayashi Maru...

It also reminded of back when I was working as an electrician on a construction site many years back. Every Friday we would have a cheese burger eating contest. I ended up with the record in speed eating a McDonald's cheese burger at 47 seconds. Another guy could do it in 45 seconds but because he did not like cheese (what a wimp!), he ate hamburgers. So I could still claim the top position.

Want to know more?
Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest
Takeru Kobayashi
Kobayashi Maru

01 July 2006

I'm Spider-Man

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

our results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man
80%
Superman
65%
Green Lantern
65%
Robin
60%
Supergirl
55%
Hulk
55%
The Flash
50%
Wonder Woman
45%
Iron Man
40%
Catwoman
35%
Batman
25%

29 June 2006

Fact Generator

Finally, an online fact generator.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Chuck Norris!

  1. New Zealand was the first place to allow Chuck Norris to vote!
  2. Only one person in two billion will live to be Chuck Norris.
  3. The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of Chuck Norris.
  4. Peanuts and Chuck Norris are beans.
  5. Americans discard enough Chuck Norris to rebuild their entire commercial air fleet every 3 months!
  6. The only planet that rotates on its side is Chuck Norris.
  7. Native Americans never actually ate Chuck Norris; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
  8. If you blow out all the candles on Chuck Norris with one breath, your wish will come true.
  9. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Chuck Norris.
  10. The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as Chuck Norris.
I am interested in - do tell me about

24 June 2006

Tortoise Harriet

When I was in Australia for the second time in 1997, I went to Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo (The Crocodile Hunter) and saw and touched this tortoise, Harriet, which back then was claimed to be 167 years old. It was said that it was collected by no other than Charles Darwin himself on Galapagos during his voyage aboard the HMS Beagle in 1835.
DNA samples told another story, while her age was confirmed, it also indicated that she came from an island that Darwin never visited. Still very exhilarating to have touched a creature that was alive when Darwin was young.

Last night, at the age of 176, she died.

Oh yeah, should you come past Beerwah in Queensland, where the Australia Zoo is located, I recommend a visit, it is not in any way as hyper or tacky as you would expect from something that could claim to be As Seen On TV.

Tortoise.
Charles Darwin.
Steve Irwin.
Australia Zoo.
CNN Story.

18 June 2006

Smack Your Penguin Up

One of my friends, a keen environmentalist, emailed this game to me once.

Smack a few penguins and then visit his website: Underview.

Supersize it!


Flash Games

15 June 2006

Guess Where

I really should write a blog post.....

It's long overdue.....

But I'm lazy, guess where I took this photo.

03 June 2006

Lander II: Moon Rescue

I used to love playing Lunar Lander in the arcade way back when I was young and handsome (now I'm just "and"). Later on my Commodore 64 I played Thrust, which was a bit like Lunar Lander except you were given missions to pick up stuff and could top up your fuel during the missions.
This flash game is a combination of the two and will provide hours of fun and although it messes up the layout of my blog page I forgive it.


Flash Games

21 May 2006

2006 Eurovision Song Contest

The band Lordi from Finland won the Eurovision Song Contest this year with the song "Hard Rock Hallelujah". I wonder what their Heavy Metal colleagues will say when shown the trophy shelf in the pool room and one of the trophies is inscribed: Eurovision Song Contest 2006.

I give Germany a thumb up for entering with a country song, and then two thumbs down for entering with a bad country song.

The song from England was crap, as was the song from Denmark.

18 May 2006

Only In English Traffic

Only in England can you be stuck in traffic behind a Rolls Royce with another one behind you and looking out the side windows you see two Bentleys.

15 May 2006

Stonehenge Remote

Press "Play" to see it spin.

04 May 2006

Fast Lane of London

There is no such thing as "The Fast Lane", only another traffic queue...

26 April 2006

Best of 007 (Sean Connery)

The first James Bond movie I ever saw was Goldfinger with Sean Connery as 007. Like a newly hatched bird that bonds with the first creature that it see, Sean Connery will forever be imprinted in my mind as The James Bond.
Not that I think the other guys did a bad job; Roger Moore was not bad, but he was let down by some bad scripts in the later years. When Timothy Dalton took over, the long line of bad script went unbroken and he had to take the wrap. Pierce Brosnan seemed to be more of a bad parody of James Bond, possibly because the scripts had deteriorated into an embarrassing mess.
I must admit that I can't remember ever seeing the next 007, Daniel Craig, in anything at all. I know there is a big controversy over selecting a blond actor to step into the shoes of everybody's favorite secret agent, come on! give the man a chance! Yet, if there is no improvement in the scripts, he might go the way of George Lazenby who only was seen in one movie.

Sean Connery handled the part with the tongue firmly in his cheek, yet you believed that he could be dangerous and would kill people if necessary. Not only did he get away with saying some of the most sexists lines to women in movie history, he did them with style (the lines).

The first really good line comes from the film Goldfinger:

Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.
James Bond: I must be dreaming.

This name, no doubt, inspired the name of a character in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and the following exchange:

Austin Powers: Come again?
Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina.
Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Of course she later realises that her name might invoke certain images in men's minds so at the end of the movie we hear that she has changed it to: Sandy Fagina, which admittedly sounds less inviting.


A few more, though not as good ones, sneaks into Thunderball:

Miss Moneypenny: James,how else will you recognize her?
James Bond: Can't miss. She has a mole on her left thigh.

[after making love to Pat, Bond sees something suspicious on the grounds, and gets up to investigate]
Pat Fearing: James, where are you going?
James Bond: Oh, nowhere. I just thought I'd take a little, uh... exercise.
Pat Fearing: You must be joking.

[Bond is standing in the doorway between their apartments as Fiona takes a bath]
Fiona: Aren't you in the wrong room, Mr. Bond?
Bond: Not from where I'm standing.


Then it goes full throttle in You only live twice:

[Kissy says she will be sleeping elsewhere. Bond shoves his oyster dinner aside]
James Bond: Well, I won't need these.

[Bond is captured by Helga Brandt]
Helga Brandt: I've got you now.
James Bond: Well, enjoy yourself.
[Brandt slaps him]

[about to make love to Helga Brandt]
James Bond: Oh the things I do for England.

[Being bathed by Tanaka's women]
Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. All Japanese men have beautiful bare skin.
James Bond: Ancient Japanese proverb, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

[James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]

James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
Ling: You think we better, huh?
James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.
Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number one: never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you.
James Bond: And rule number two?
Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.
James Bond: I just might retire to here.

Once again this inspired a joke in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery:

Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second.
Austin Powers: Or sometimes not at all.

MoneyPenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl?
[turns the lamp towards her, interrogation style]
James Bond: Which girl?
MoneyPenny: The... uh... Chinese one we set you up with?
James Bond: Another few minutes and I would have found out.

Mr. Osato: You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.
Helga Brandt:
Mr. Osato believes in healthy chest.
[Bond eyes Helga's breasts]
James Bond: Really?

Diamonds are forever:

[to Tiffany while he's in bed with her]
James Bond: Presumably I'm the condemned man and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.

Sir Donald Munger: Tell me, Commander, how far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?
James Bond: Well, hardest substance found in nature, they cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girl's best friend. That's about it.

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.
[Bond looking at her cleavage]
James Bond: But of course you are.
Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.
James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Tiffany Case: Could be.
James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.
Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?
James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match...

[holding up a finger, moving back]
Plenty O'Toole: Just give me one second, lover.
[she walks into the bedroom]
[Bond picks up her dress and tosses it onto a couch. He turns on a lamp and finds a goon pointing a gun at him]
James Bond: Good evening.
[other lights come on, revealing another goon, also pointing a gun at him]
James Bond: Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.


Then a long break before Sean Connery returns in Never say Never Again:

Nurse: Mr. Bond, I need a urine sample. If you could fill this beaker for me?
James Bond: From here?

[Fatima Blush lands in James Bond's arms when she water-skis up the ramp to the bar]

Fatima Blush: Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.
James Bond: Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James.
Not really that sexy, but very "Connery".

Fatima Blush: You know that making love to Fatima was the greatest pleasure of your life.
James Bond: Well, to be perfectly honest, there was this girl in Philadelphia...
Fatima Blush: Write this: "The greatest rapture of my life was afforded me on a boat in Nassau by Fatima Blush," and sign it "James Bond, 007."
James Bond: I just remembered. It's against Service policy to give endorsements.
Fatima Blush: Write!

My memory is not that good, so I should probably mention that my research was done through the Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB), where I stole these quotes from (long live copy & paste).
Just find a movie you are interested in and look under: "Memorable Quotes".
If you are a movie buff like me, you might never leave IMDB again.

22 April 2006

We Mean It!


When I saw that warning, my first thought was: Oh yeah, how hot?

Answer: So hot that I had to keep my hand under cold running water for five minutes....

20 April 2006

Car Park Trouble

When you build an underground car park, you quickly realise that it might be a good idea to protect the pipe work and lights hanging down from the ceiling. You have spent a fortune on this so you don't want to see it destroyed, so you invest in a sign.

It doesn't take long before the first light fitting get knocked to smithereens, people in general are shockingly unaware about the height of their vehicle.
So you put in a metal rail to give entering cars a friendly bump on the roof before it get far enough into the car park to cause any damage to your investment.

Now you have problems with pigeons sitting on the metal rail making a slippery mess underneath, as pigeons have been known to do.
You have no other choice than putting some spikes on the rail to deter the winged rats.

Just as you thought you had reached the end of the road, idiots start turning up, forcing you to invest in yet another sign.

19 April 2006

Robins Costner's Castle

This Easter we explored some of the many old castles, churches and ruins of south-west England and there are many, believe me.... if I see one more castle, church, ruin or any combination of these in the next few weeks; I'm going to SCREAM!. One of the ruins was the Old Wardour Castle that was featured in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, you know the one with Kevin Costly and Mary Elizabeth Matro... eh..Mastren.. hm...Mastub... arrrrg!, the original Queen Bitch of the Universe from The Abyss.

A sign on the castle grounds (see photo above) shows the above-mentioned two actors in a scene from the movie and by comparing it to the castle ruin we just couldn't work out which angle it was shot from. By an amazing coincidence, the day after we got back home, the movie was shown on TV and we realised that the scene depicted was not shot at the Old Wardour Castle at all, but somewhere else. The scenes actually filmed at the Old Wardour are featured in the beginning of the movie, when Robin returns to find his father killed and his castle in ruins after the Sheriff of Nottingham has made a less than friendly social call. The garden feature grotto in the photo below is also seen briefly in the movie as a backdrop when Hans Gruber (The Sheriff) greets Robin's father, with a polite: "Join us or die!".

17 April 2006

Brussels Sprouts

The other day we walked past a traditional old English vegetable garden, were I took this photo.
These are Brussels Sprouts stalks where the sprouts have been picked off
Lucky that! Otherwise my wife would probably had made me eat them.

Want to know more? (somehow I don't think so).

Brussels Sprouts

12 April 2006

Rats with wings

We have an unsigned agreement with pigeons; They just walk all over the road as they please and when we come driving, they just scamper out of the way without us having to worry about them.
This time of the year that agreement seem to have gone out the window. Horny male pigeons are so busy courting the female pigeons that they forget to keep an eye on the traffic. Oddly enough the females do not seem so distracted by this macho strutting that they can't clear out of the way in time. Maybe it's because the male pigeon matting dance most of all look like a Mick Jagger stage performance. This inability to cope with traffic could the very reason behind the great success of pigeons in the city. Evolution (my car) kills the inattentive birds, leaving only the traffic safe specimens alive to multiply.
And multiply they do, in every major city you find these flying rats, shitting on statues, building ledges and my car (evolution). The amount of spikes and strings mounted on buildings to prevent pigeons from resting there is unbelievable. I can't help wonder (because I love useless trivia) how many tons of metal there's gone into pigeon-resting-prevention around the world . Woody Allen was right to call them rats with wings.
The solution would not be to kill the pigeons themselves and we can't kill the elderly people feeding them. Instead I suggest that we make all the green traffic lights at pedestrian crossings twenty seconds shorter, making it difficult to cross for slow walkers and eventually old people will give up going outside and just stay at home watching TV, traffic will run smoother and no more pigeons.

Old lady fined
Another old lady fined

10 April 2006

The Beat of a Different Drum

I don't mind people Marching to The Beat of a Different Drum, but why does it have to be a slow one?

09 April 2006

Potato Western

Everybody knows about the Spaghetti Westerns made in the in 60's and 70's by Italian film makers. Few know that Denmark jumped that bandwagon too and created what we in Denmark affectionately refer to as the Potato Western (Kartoffel Western).
As far as I know only two movies were made and they were never meant to be taken seriously, the casting of well known Danish comedy actors saw to that. Most of the outdoor filming were done in a gravel quarry, probably to achieve the arid desert look that you see in the Spaghetti Westerns. It's amazing how much it doesn't look like an arid desert at all, it looks just like a... well a gravel quarry. In other outdoor scenes, nothing have been done to camouflage the fact that the movie was made in Denmark and it just look like good old plain Denmark.

Are the films any good?
No! and yes, only Danes (and maybe a few Swedes and Norwegians) will like them.
They got that; so bad that it's good quality to them and the actors involved are loved by everyone regardless of what they do.

The Tough Boys of The Prairie.

Gold for The Tough Boys of The Prairie.

06 April 2006

King Bluetooth

Bluetooth is named after a 10th century Danish Viking king called Harald Blåtand. Of course his name has been anglicised to Harold Bluetooth, which I find a bit silly. To me Harald is the name of a tough ravaging viking, while Harold is a middle aged semi-bald English guy sitting in an armchair with slippers on his feet, reading his newspaper while puffing away on a pipe (married to a woman called Maude).
No matter, Bluetooth was named so because Harald Blåtand through diplomacy convinced different factions to negotiate peace with each other, which probably made his job as king a bit easier, it's not always "Good to be the King".
This is what Bluetooth does for wireless connections between phones, computers, cars, headsets and what have you, it makes all those devices, that conform with the Bluetooth standard, negotiate and talk to each other making your life easier.
As soon as I start my car my phone is automatically hooked into the car-kit, I don't even have to remove the phone from my pocket. On the street you see people with bluetooth earpieces hanging in their ears, oblivious to how silly they look. It's nothing new though, Uhura from Star Trek had a bluetooth earpiece before anyone else.

Now I'm just waiting for people to wake up to the fact that the other wireless standards have also been named for Danish kings, namely the Triplet Kings; IEEE 802.11a, IEEE 802.11b and IEEE 802.11g.


Want to know more?
Harald Blåtand
Bluetooth
IEEE 802.11

29 March 2006

Troublewrap

It doesn't matter which office you walk into, there is always an idiot hanging around in the deliveries section, popping the little bubbles on the protective plastic wrappers. I don't know what the fascination is but the facts are; bubblewrap attracts morons.
Before you accuse me of being judgemental I will just point out that more often than not, I am that idiot. In particular I love the bubblewrap with bubbles so large that in order to pop them you have to stomp on them with a foot so they go *BANG* making everybody in the office jump. Unfortunately I can only get away with doing the big ones once or twice a day before people loose their patience.
My recommendation is to start off with a sheet with only small bubbles, it will take quite a few minutes before people start sending you annoyed glances. Then stop for five minutes, to let people think you're done and then you pop a big one.

Thomas, 38 years of age (soon 39).

Admit it, you want to pop some bubblewrap now, don't you? Come on, just click here....

26 March 2006

Elbow Grease

This morning I was doing the weekly bathroom cleaning. To get rid of the damned mildew I still had to use quite a bit of elbow grease when scrubbing the wall grout at the bath tub, despite heavy use of enviroment damaging chemicals that probably will have my descendants curse me for centuries to come. Well... fuck'em, we prefer a clean bathroom.
The expression "elbow grease" had me reminiscing about my childhood, when I used to read the Donald Duck cartoon magazine on a regular basis. Scrooge McDuck always had Donald Duck polishing his coins with elbow grease when he had screwed up something. From the downtrodden reaction of Donald Duck when he was told to use elbow grease, I deduced that elbow grease must be a very smelly cleaning product.
Now I know better.

24 March 2006

A Lesson in RTFM

I can't stand listening to radio for any long period of time, I hate most of the music played there and I soon grow weary of the radio hosts and their inane chit-chat. So for the last couple of months I had taken to burning CD-RW's with music and audio-books for listening in my car, while driving to and from work. I gave up using my iTrip, a radio transmitter for the iPod, since there is too many stations crowding the radio bands in the London area, making it hard to find an empty channel. Besides iTrip and other radio transmitters, even with the very limited range they provide, are illegal to use here in England. So I have been burning and re-burning CD's week after week, what a bloody hassle it was.
Then the other day I had a flat tyre and was leafing through the car manual to find the lifting point for the jack, when I came across the radio section where the headline: "Auxiliary Input Plug" caught my attention. It turned out that a standard 3.5mm jack-plug had been installed in the glove compartment for easy connection of third party music players into the music system. Suddenly my car was the biggest and most expensive iPod accessory I ever had.
A classic case of RTFM.

20 March 2006

Leprechaun 4: In Space

Some movies are so bad that they are good, where the line goes is individual from person to person. Enter Leprechaun 4, looking the movie up on the Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB) will reveal that fans of the Leprechaun series think that the fourth outing is so bad that it's not even good.

I have only seen the fourth one myself and I think it’s in the so bad that it’s good category. I only saw it by coincidence, one night when we were living in Singapore I woke up in the middle of the night and could not fall asleep again. My cure for that back then was to go into the living room, turn on the TV cuddle up on the sofa clutching the remote and then channel-surf until a B-movie was found and then crawl back in bed when my eyes began to droop.
I missed the beginning of the movie and didn’t have a clue of what it was I was watching. It took place aboard a spaceship and some marines, looking like they had been taken straight out of Aliens, were discussing how to get rid of a menace troubling them. Great, I thought, a cheap Alien rip-off should send me right back to sleep in no time. I soon realised that the alien they were chasing was a Leprechaun. Everybody was playing it straight, treating the Leprechaun as a fearsome intruder and I found that extremely comical. I saw the movie to the end without feeling the least bit like going back to bed and had a great time.
The other day I found the movie in HMV on DVD at a budget price of course and I bought it on the spot.
Finally I saw it from the beginning the full story.

The Leprechaun has kidnapped a Princess that looks like an extra straight out of the original Star Trek TV-series, scantly clad and ready to seduce Captain Kirk. The Leprechaun manages to convince her that she is much better off with him and his gold. Just as she agrees to marry him (jewellery never fails), the space marines “rescues” her, kills the Leprechaun and steal his gold.

Back on the mother ship and after a groin-bursting scene (yes! groin!) by the not-so-dead Leprechaun, the traditional kill-them-one-by-one scenario ensues.
A classic scene, not shown in the Singapore TV-version, is when the princess towards the end of the movie is flashing her boobs at the remaining marines and female scientist. It turns out to be the traditional declaration of the death sentence of her home planet; this is the most stupid excuse I have come across in any movie to show tits and this includes some very deranged X-rated movies... erm.. I... eh.. have heard about... In the final battle the female scientist also mangage to strip down to her undies, real first class schlock.

I might even check out the first three movies and the two further sequels, if this is the worst one of them, the others must be pure heaven. Warwick Davis stars as the Leprchaun in all of them and Jennifer Aniston co-stars in the first one, as victim I presume, and Ice-T can be found staring in one of the sequels to this fourth one. Ice-T must have a sense of humour after all behind that grumpy exterior

Warwick Davis; I salute you.

Want to know more?
Warwick Davis
Leprechaun 4

19 March 2006

Punch The Wall

Every once in a while, the world around you makes you wanna punch the the wall and scream.
No more, just visit http://khaaan.com/.

17 March 2006

555-CARDBOARD-BOX

Saw a bloke outside the supermarket today, selling The Big Issue while talking on a mobile phone. Apparently the main deterrent for homeless people not to have a phone in olden days was the need for a land-line.

Reminded me of a TV add in Australia were a tyre service company had joined up with the Salvation Army. For every tyre sold the company would donate a small amount of money to the Salvation Army to be used to buy tyres for poor people.
Can poor people afford to buy and run a car??? Maybe they are given a rope as well so they can hang the tyre from a tree branch, gives them something to play with while waiting for the big lotto jackpot (just like the rest of us).

16 March 2006

Outback Tourist Traps

If I have learned one thing from traveling it's; tourist attractions are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.
I have been down countless caves where the signs at the ticket office promised world class stalactites and Stalagmites. All the caves were originally found a hundred years ago by bush farmers that initially used it as their garbage dump until the advent of cars brought tourism to the outback.

The placards will tell of an extensive cave and tunnel system that goes on for hundreds of kilometers, most of still unexplored to this day. Some might even throw in an unlikely story of bushrangers using it as a hideout from the authorities. The short story is some farmer decides that the hole on his land would fetch him a lot more money if he puts a sign at the nearest highway; This way to The Famous Golden Crystal Diamond Caves, knocks up a ticket booth at the cave entrance and then wait for the suckers (me) to come running.
When you turn down that dirt road towards the caves you already know you will be taken for a ride, but there's nothing else to see and you are bored. After driving 20 Kilometers, just when you are about to turn around because you thought you might have made a wrong turn somewhere, you see the next sign; Golden Crystal Diamond Caves, 15 Km. At this point you are already past the halfway point so you really don't feel like turning around. Finally there, you find that you have just missed the hourly guided tour of the caves, so you hang around for another 45 minutes until the next tour. Once down there you will hear the usual stories of how long the dripstones have taken to form, about the white bats living there and how the temperature is always the same.
Don't get me wrong, I do find these thing interesting it's just that I've been to so many caves now that promised something special, but all look like carbon copies of each other.
Oh yeah, they only charge entrance fee in order to preserve the caves as they were before humans began their intrusions.

Another time, on one of our many outback treks, we followed the signs to a meteor crater called something like; The Spectacular Outback Meteor Crater. Only to find a ticket shed in front of a circular wooden fence about ten meters in diameter. A sign proclaimed that the crater was first found by aboriginals thousands of years ago and their original name for the crater was something uncommon as; Mungawoollatagua, meaning; Star that fell from the sky during Dreamtime. A closer examination of the name by a professor in linguistics or just by asking an aboriginal elder, would probably reveal that the name really means; Hole we use for our morning dump. Any way this enterprising individual only had one problem, his place of business was to close to the road, if we had driven 20 Kilometers to see his hole we might have paid his admission fee but in this case it was; Close, but no cigar.

This brings me to our Nullabor crossing trip. Made cynical by experiences like described above and it being late afternoon with onset of darkness closing in, I was almost inclined to give The Great Australian Bight Marine Park and the whale watching spot a miss, when we passed the sign on the highway. The whole thing is so remote that only people who crosses the Nullabor really ever come there. We expected a tourist trap but were positively surprised. A reasonable admission fee included a nice shiny booklet and a ticket were the top was shaped like the tail-fin of a whale, I still use it as my bookmark.

A walkway had been built from the visitors center down to the water, to protect the area from intrusion of humans. At first we didn't see much other than some rocks sticking out of the water way out from the coast. Suddenly one of the "rocks" blew a geyser of water up into the air. It was the Southern Right Whales that comes to this area to nurse their calves before heading south.

Even at this remote distance you could comprehend the size of these animals, in fact the distance probably was the key to realising the size of them. So far away and you could still make out the mothers playing with their calves and brushing off horny males out for one last fling before the big emigration.

Fantastic, my advice is to never pass up chance of seeing whales, it really is an incredible experience.

Want to know more?
Great Australian Bight
Southern Right Whale
Bushranger
Cave
Stalactite
Stalagmite

13 March 2006

Saint Patrick's Day in London

It appears that the Irish living in London lacks the patience to wait until the 17. March and celebrated Saint Patrick's Day on Sunday the 12. March. It was only by coincidence that we passed the parade while window shopping.

I'm not sure about the significance of the caterpillar in relation to St. Patrick's day, other than it is green, but there you are...

There were also some people dressed up as a pint of Guinness, they made a lot more sense. I should have been faster with my camera phone though.

Want to know more?
Saint Patrick's Day